Sniffany & The Nits

Sniffany & The Nits are a deranged, genuinely troubling punk band from London featuring members of Joanna Gruesome, Ex-Void & The Tubs.

For months now, The Nits have been scuttling and weaving their way through the dark forestry of your hairstyle, searching for fertile patches of soft scalp to suck dry. You’d almost gotten used to the perpetual itch, always moving, always a step ahead, but now...something’s happened. Something’s changed. Your condition has worsened!

You’ve started to hear noises. Barely audible at first, just background static, but growing louder each day. Now, during quiet moments- in a toilet cubicle, alone in bed- you swear you can hear the sounds of instruments. No-one believes you. But you’re convinced: The Nits have formed a band!

Sometimes, if you really concentrate, you can hear snatches of their music. Spindly, gothic hardcore riffs. Skittish, pogo-punk drumming. Inane, circular bass playing. You can even hear the band members on their breaks between songs- tiny hisses of lager cans opening, small, awful voices shouting names like 𝒲𝑜𝓏𝓏𝒶, 𝒢𝓇𝑒𝑒𝓃𝒷𝑒𝓇𝑔, 𝒪𝓌𝑒𝓃 and 𝒥𝑜𝓈𝒾𝑒. The mention of a three track tape on a record label named 𝒢𝑜𝒷 𝒩𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃? Song titles? "𝒩𝒾𝓉 𝒞𝑜𝓂𝒷", "𝒫𝒾𝑔𝑔𝓎 𝐵𝒶𝓃𝓀" and "𝒢𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝐵𝑜𝓎"?

Your only explanation: The Nits have breached the threshold of your scalp and burrowed straight down into the fleshy surface of your brain. Your only solution: a visit to 𝒮𝓃𝒾𝒻𝒻𝒶𝓃𝓎, Brighton’s most trusted and beloved Nit Nurse!

Why? You ask yourself, as you writhe there in agony. Why can’t I get these Nits out of my head?